Let’s Talk: Single

Table for one, but drinks for two! — Someone Single

Look, whoever said that being single doesn’t mean you aren’t lonely is a liar. Well… not a complete liar, but I digress. You can ABSOLUTELY live a vibrant and full single life until you find that life partner (which I strongly encourage). However, let’s not paint singleness like they do in the movies as a carefree utopia. There are many realities in dating and even more realities when dating as a single parent.

I watched an interview on The Breakfast Club  with Jennifer Lewis where she spoke about dealing with mental illness and a bunch of other stuff. It was a great interview by the way. You should definitely check it out! One of the biggest takeaways I got from that interview was that we as people don’t allow ourselves to feel our emotions. I’m not saying sit in it too long. After all we are adults (please go to counseling).  Howbeit, you have to allow yourself to feel the emotions of what you are going through. It’s okay to give yourself the space to feel sad or disappointed just as much as you give yourself the space to be happy.  The interview also lead me to be transparent in sharing my journey of singleness.

I was in a toxic relationship previously and I needed to heal. I had to figure out some things within myself without the pressure of dating. I worked hard to get to the point where I was comfortable with myself and being single. Ya girl went to counseling *two snaps and around the world*. I got to the point where I could say, “Okay, Christina you’ve moved passed that stage. You’re ready to go girl. You’d rather be single than to settle. Let’s do this.” That sounds good, right? It is but I would be remiss not to paint reflect singleness as the reality it can be at times: Some days I am living my best life of no stress, unbothered, dance to the beat of my own drum that my little heart can handle. Some days it is “I am tired of sitting on my friend’s couch. Where is BAE?! I enjoy hoodie season too.”

When I would have those moments, I would beat myself up because I thought I was undoing all the progress I’ve made to get comfortable with myself. This is why Jennifer’s interview resonated so much with me. I was not giving myself the space to feel the nuance of singleness. It is completely okay to have a lonely day or even moment as a single me. I just can’t sit in it. It does not make me weak or less comfortable with myself as a person. And luckily I have supportive friends that will call me out on it and tell me to keep it pushing. Regardless of what moment or phrase I am in my journey, I do things to constantly remind myself of my value. I’m just working on being the kind of person I would date.